Matt’s Worst Movies of 2019

1. After 

Courtesy of Aviron Pictures
Courtesy of Aviron Pictures

A horribly written, lazily directed, and exasperatingly dull teen romance with two awful lead performances from actors who have no chemistry. After feels weirdly reductive and misogynist despite being written by three women. This movie doesn’t understand the magic of romantic relationships, and it doesn’t really understand relationships of any kind.

2. Jexi

Courtesy of Lionsgate
Courtesy of Lionsgate

An exasperating 84-minute slog that wants you to get off of your smartphone and enjoy life, and yet it’s the exact kind of movie I can’t wait to complain about on the internet. It’s the feature-length equivalent of a bad SNL skit where you just end up fast-forwarding to the next one and serves as the final nail in the coffin for Adam Devine’s career as a leading man.

3. The Addams Family

Courtesy of United Artists Releasing
Courtesy of United Artists Releasing

A maddeningly boring shell of the material that inspired it. Full of cheap gags, bad puns, and ugly animation. A lazily written and unenergetic waste of a brilliant voice cast and source material that doesn’t deserve this kind of slander.

4. Black Christmas
Its leading characters are glorified internet comments come to life, a Twitter argument projected on a 60-foot screen. Nobody ever talks to each other like human beings, and everyone just seems to continually shout surface-level observations about what it’s like to be a young person in 2019 without ever really say anything truthful.

5. Serenity
A film doomed from the very beginning that so entertainingly goes off the rails and crashes into the ocean and drowns. Dreadful, but it must be seen to be believed. There is something enjoyable about seeing a cast of this stature come together for something that feels like a suicide mission.

6. Yesterday

Photo by Jonathan Prime - © Universal Pictures
Photo by Jonathan Prime – © Universal Pictures

While this may be fine for audiences who aren’t expecting anything from it, I found this film incredibly disappointing and infuriating once you think about where this premise could have gone. A brilliant concept that’s frustratingly run into the ground.

7. Richard Jewell

Photo by Claire Folger
Photo by Claire Folger

Another late-stage Clint Eastwood right-wing propaganda piece in which he sings to a specific choir and everyone else misses his message. An infuriating and deeply destructive mess that trivializes a significant story. A lazily written disaster that wastes some terrific actors, and leaves others looking like morons.

8. The Fanatic
John Travolta continuing his ongoing descent into nothingness with a bewildering and offensive performance. I still have no idea what he was going for. A laughable, cheaply made, horribly written insult to Hollywood and everyone who loves movies.

9. Midway
I mention in my best-of-the-year list that I hate war movies. Midway is a perfect example of why.

10. Good Boys
There is a fine line between shock value comedy and being gross just for the sake of being gross. Good Boys has no idea where that line is. Wants to be a raunchy celebration of youth, but instead is a repulsive fiasco in which CPS should’ve been called.

Dishonorable mentions, or 11-20:

The Sun is Also a Star
Hellboy
Glass
The Dead Don’t Die
Men in Black: International
Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker
Dumbo
Escape Room
The Hustle
The Lion King

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s