Ryan’s Worst Movies of 2019

1. Cats

Photo by Universal Pictures - © 2019 Universal Pictures. All Rights Reserved.
Photo by Universal Pictures – © 2019 Universal Pictures. All Rights Reserved.

This movie was just the absolute worst. A grotesque, incompetent, and thoroughly dull production.

2. The Beach Bum

Utterly vulgar and mindless, my disgust at grew stronger with every passing second — reaching levels not felt since seeing 2018’s Holmes & Watson as well as any Adam Sandler comedy. I toughed it out to the end but came perilously close to walking out of the theater.

3. Serenity

This looked like a fun, soapy film noir in the beginning, but — my, oh my — how much things can change in one hour and forty-six minutes. The ending plot twist defies all reason. It’s so bad it’s actually kind of good.

4. The Kitchen

Courtesy of New Line Cinema
Courtesy of New Line Cinema

If done differently, this might have been an exceptional film. It wound up being chock-full of cliches and tasteless violence. I also felt no emotional connection to the characters — a must in my book. The strong cast was truly wasted.

5. Black Christmas

© 2019 UNIVERSAL STUDIOS
© 2019 UNIVERSAL STUDIOS

Featuring a supernatural element and politically-driven subject matter, this felt like a slasher in name only. It’s an absurd story with unlikeable characters and bad acting. Just bad all around.

6. Glass

M. Night Shyamalan’s final installment in the Unbreakable trilogy has a bold concept, yet seriously underwhelms. Fantastic performance from James McAvoy, though.

7. Replicas

Keanu Reeves gives a lovely performance in this stinker of a movie. The premise is outrageously unrealistic. Usually, I enjoy campy films, but it just doesn’t work here.

8. Ma

The story has the makings of a modern slasher classic, but in practice is cringeworthy and forgettable. Octavia Spencer is a powerhouse, but her talents are woefully underutilized in this film.

9. Terminator: Dark Fate

If this had been a stand-alone action flick, I might have sung its praises. However, we are talking about the Terminator franchise here, standards should be higher. This film has some great special effects, but the story is so mediocre it’s ridiculous.

10. Yesterday

I love The Beatles but dislike this movie. The idea of the plot is exciting but comes off as too unserious. Blinded by the Light, a film with a similar concept does much better, and I recommend watching that instead.

Dishonorable Mention:

Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker

Okay, this might not be the worst movie of the year, but it is by far the most disappointing. Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker was one of the most anticipated films of 2019 and, though there are some good elements, it ultimately falls flat — harder than when Hans Gruber took the scenic route out of Nakatomi Plaza.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s