There were a few films considered 2023 releases that did not get around to wide theatrical releases until the early weeks of 2024, that I waited to see before I completed my best of the year list. Andrew Haigh’s masterful All of Us Strangers was one of them, and it ended up being my second favorite film of 2023. I was predisposed to enjoy this film anyway, having always been a fan of Haigh’s work (Weekend, Lean on Pete, 45 Years, HBO’s tragically underrated Looking) but All of Us Strangers had a profound effect on me that few films have managed to capture in the year of 2023, or in a broader general sense over the past several years.

Adam (Andrew Scott) is a 40-something gay screenwriter living in a seemingly abandoned apartment complex in London. Adam is preparing to write a script about his family, or the memory of his family. His parents died when he was twelve years old, and he is still working his way through processing that loss. He goes to visit his childhood home and finds his parents (Jamie Bell and Claire Foy) still there, the same age they were when they died, somehow miraculously frozen in time.

He continues to visit and spend time with the spirits of his parents, and is able to say the things he never got to say to them, spend the holidays with them and maybe finds a way to heal from this loss that has haunted him all these years. Meanwhile, he strikes up a relationship with a flirty, yet similarly emotionally guarded-off neighbor (Paul Mescal), seemingly the apartment building’s only other tenant, and the two help each other confront what has been haunting them.

All of Us Strangers is one emotional gut-punch after another. It’s a film that absolutely destroyed me, and yet I could not stop thinking about it for quite a long while afterward. I have not cried so much in a movie theater since I think, Celine Sciamma’s Petite Maman a few years ago. And that’s a film that treads in similar thematic waters as All of Us Strangers. Both are films about loss and the way grief can never happen in a straight line. The difference is, All of Us Strangers is about the queer experience and it’s about shame and self loathing and the internal trauma brought on by the closet that can be so difficult to overcome even as an adult who is otherwise a well adjusted person.

Andrew Scott and Paul Mescal have that kind of rare, magical, crackerjack, fireworks chemistry that gives the love story side of this all the spark it needs to. It’s Scott’s showcase – he has to do a lot to get you into this character’s head, but he also makes it look effortless and makes Adam feel absolutely relatable and devastatingly human from the very beginning. And Mescal, fresh off an Oscar nominated performance for last year’s similarly gutting Aftersun, also does so much here without making it feel showy. His character is a bit mysterious throughout, but you only have to pay attention to his face to understand everything this man is feeling at any given moment. I would argue both actors being overlooked by the Academy is kind of appalling. 

Jamie Bell and Claire Foy, as well, are delivering deeply beautiful performances as the parents that never got to know their son as an adult. Each gets an individual moment or two where their dreams for the person their son could become, their regrets, their pain, their entire souls shine through, and the emotion both actors bring to this film is genuinely heartbreaking. Truly, every person in this quartet is bringing so much to their individual character, and nobody hits a false note throughout.

This entire movie broke me and made it very clear to me that I need to find a therapist as soon as possible. It illuminated the fact that I too, have some emotional stuff that isn’t resolved and I felt so deeply seen by this movie and its message. But also, I have seen this film a few times now, and initially I was kind of puzzled, or upset or even deceived by the ending of this movie. There is some ambiguity here that will leave you needing to ponder what was really going on, for a while after you see it. Truly, I could not stop thinking about this movie and what it brought up for me, for weeks after seeing it. I have personally come to the conclusion that the ambiguity in the finale of this film works in a beautiful way. Without giving anything away, there are a few theories I could think of that all made sense, and all worked within the context of the story we have been told in this film. And I think the murkiness of that adds to the richness of this narrative. This is a beautiful film in a number of ways, and it will stick with you long after you see it.

Andrew Haigh’s screenplay and direction are always sharp and well-observed. The cinematography by Jamie D. Ramsay is evocative and striking. The score by Emilie Levienaise-Farrouch is haunting and gorgeous, and the usage of existing music here provides for some of the film’s most emotionally devastating moments. And like I’ve said, the quartet of performances here could not possibly be better, and this film is pretty much impossible to stop thinking about. In a just world, this would be sweeping Oscar season instead of being nominated for (checks notes) ZERO Academy Awards. This is beautiful, haunting, emotionally devastating, unforgettable filmmaking. It’s the kind of thing that absolutely demands to be seen and felt on a profound level.

All of Us Strangers is available to rent and purchase digitally on February 22^nd, and will also be available to stream on Hulu. It is still awaiting a physical media (DVD and Blu-ray) release, because the Disney corporation (and Bob Iger) are evil dictators.